Many women endure violence in silence to avoid social stigma and due to family pressure.
By UCA News
Saba Khan* considers her wedding day in 2021 as the worst day of her life.
The 28-year-old Muslim woman was born and brought up in Srinagar, the capital of restive Jammu and Kashmir — India’s only Muslim-majority region.
A mother of one daughter, she ended her abusive married life with a divorce last year.
Within six months of her wedding, Saba realized she was effectively in servitude not a marriage because of mistreatment, ridicule and harassment by her husband and in-laws.
“I could not even step out to buy groceries without my husband’s permission. Every mistake, even imagined, led to beatings. I felt trapped. I thought I deserved better but providence had willed otherwise,” she told UCA News.
Her ordeal only worsened after she gave birth to a girl after three years. Like many parts of India and other South Asian nations, social preference for boys over girls often leads to abuses and violence against women.
“That too was perceived as a grave sin — a daughter was born — how could I give birth to a daughter. I was told that I was cursed to the core. Taunts became the inseparable part of my being,” she said.
Last year, Saba filed for a divorce and her brother, a government employee, lodged a criminal complaint against her husband and in-laws.
There are hundreds of women like Saba in Jammu and Kashmir who routinely face domestic violence and other crimes, often in silence to avoid social stigma and due to family pressure.
In 2023, the region recorded 3,653 cases of violence against women, according to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB).
The most common crime was kidnapping with 895 cases followed by 524 cases of cruelty by husbands and 231 cases of rape. The data also revealed 427 women were abducted for forced marriage, including 10 minors.
“These numbers are human lives. They reflect trauma, fear, and silent struggles that often remain invisible in public discourse,” said Khurshid Nabi, a Kashmir based sociologist.
“I felt powerless and alone”
Domestic violence in Kashmir is largely hidden. For every woman who files a complaint, many more suffer in silence.
Nusrat, a mother of two from Ganderbal, in central Kashmir, endured years of verbal and physical abuse from her husband.
“I could not speak up. My family told me to tolerate it. I felt powerless and alone,” she said.
Activists note that social norms and fear of stigma prevent women from reporting abuse.
“Families fear shame. Women fear divorce or losing custody of their children. They suffer silently, often for years. The trauma does not end with abuse; it lasts a lifetime,” says Rabiya Bano, a women rights’ activist.
Mental health professionals highlight the long-term impact.
“Women exposed to domestic violence develop depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress. Many attempt suicide. In 2023, the NCRB recorded 434 attempted suicides and 44 abetments to suicide among women in Jammu and Kashmir,” Zahoor Ahmad, a clinical psychologist in Srinagar, told UCA News.
Kidnapping and forced marriage are pervasive. Families often struggle to rescue their daughters, facing social pressure and bureaucratic delays.
The head of a women’ police station in north Kashmir told UCA News on condition of anonymity that many victims are coerced into marriage. Some are minors. Their trauma is immense and they live in fear, away from family, sometimes for months.
A 16-year-old girl, who requested anonymity, recounted her ordeal following a kidnapping and forced marriage.
“They told my parents I agreed. I had no choice. I feared leaving meant death. Even after I was rescued, my community treated me as if it was my fault,” she told UCA News.
Experts say such cases leave lasting psychological scars.
“Victims often struggle with trust, isolation, and the fear of societal judgment long after rescue,” psychologist Zahoor said.
Cyber threats
Jammu and Kashmir also recorded 43 cybercrimes against women during this period.
“Online harassment is changing the way women experience fear. Many women stop socializing or using the internet. Their mobility and confidence shrink. Digital abuse adds a new layer of trauma to physical and emotional abuse,” said Rashed Ali, a digital rights activist based in Srinagar.
A 25-year-old college student, who faced online harassment and sought anonymity, told UCA News last year she incidentally uploaded her own picture on Facebook and took it down moments later.
“Within that time, someone had downloaded it and circulated it with a different name. Then someone circulated doctored photos of me. I felt unsafe leaving home. I lost my social life. I questioned whether I could ever trust anyone again,” she said.
The physical toll
A total of 84 murders and 693 deaths of women due to negligence were recorded in 2023, according to the NCRB. There were nine cases of dowry-related deaths, 438 attempted murders, and 434 attempted suicides were also registered.
Molvi Javaid Ahmad, a Sunni cleric based in central Kashmir’s Ganderbal area told UCA News that crimes against women are emerging as a worrisome trend not in social circles alone but in the religious circles as well.
“Kashmir is a deeply religious society where women’s dignity should be protected. The fact that so many are abused reflects a larger social crisis like anger, frustration, and the breakdown of traditional protective mechanisms are contributing factors,” the cleric said.
Conflict spells dangers
Mountainous and picturesque Kashmir is a fractured region claimed in full by both India and Pakistan.
The dispute has led to multiple wars and several skirmishes following the British partition of the Indian subcontinent in 1947.
India accuses Pakistan of supporting a secessionist movement aimed at separating Kashmir from India, an allegation Islamabad has consistently denied. Conversely, Pakistan accuses Hindu-majority India of oppressing the region’s Muslim majority.
An insurgency has claimed about 100,000 lives in Kashmir since the 1990s.
On Aug. 5, 2019, India’s parliament revoked the region’s special status and its statehood, fueling protests and unrest.
Clashes broke out between India and Pakistan in May following an April 22 terrorist attack in Kashmir that killed 26 civilians, mostly Hindu tourists. The May 7-10 conflict left at least 82 people mostly civilians dead on both sides.
Experts say like other aspects of life in the region, structural and social changes often triggered by conflict lead to violence against women.
“The erosion of joint families means there are fewer mediators for domestic disputes. Economic stress, unemployment, and social isolation exacerbate violence,” said Nabi the sociologist.
Religious scholars echo this concern.
“Islam stresses compassion and respect within the family. Violence against women is not a religious issue — it is a societal one. Communities must intervene before abuse escalates,” noted Molvi Ahmad the Sunni cleric.
* The name of the victim was changed on request to protect her identity
Featured image: Kashmirian earthquake survivors sit in a makeshift hospital in a refugee camp in Pakistan-administered Kashmir Nov. 21. Humanitarian aid agencies are in a race against winter weather to provide tents and provisions for some 3 million people left homeless by the Oct. 8 earthquake. (CNS photo from Reuters) (Nov. 23, 2005)
